She Look Dumb

Good Evening Friends,

Welcome to this mess of a post!! Tonight we have a girl who clearly didn’t get the memo on corsets. Also, she decided to decorate hers with hello kitty faces and big nasty fake pearls. Very DIY. Congrats… things are supposed to look like you did it yourself.

Well girlfriend, where to begin?

Your nails… gross. I bet you paid a fortune to have those bad boys put on. You look like you could poke an eye out. And they are fucking square. DUH! At the point where your nail gets to be that long (or you’ve put on press ons like this girl) you cut them or you round them out. You accentuate the fake when you give your nail such a drastic shape.

I’ve already discussed corsets, but what the fuck did you put on yours? Isn’t hello kitty for seven year olds and asians who think they’re seven? Those pearl beads make me want to vomit. Good job ironing on those hearts and kitties though!

Your tattoos. Well, honestly I’m not a huge fan of big flashy tattoos. I’m always wayyy too curious about what happens when you’re old and wrinkly and you have tattoos covering big portions of your body. I think at that point you’ll regret it. But if you do it, at least do something  thoughtful or original. It looks like this lovely lady picked hers off the wall of art the shop knows they can do. How much did you pay for that? I hope not much.

Oh! Congratulations! Your lips are freaking enormous!

I’d also like to point out, she put the stars and hearts in the photo, not me.

I would have put frowning crying faces.

xoxo

Isla

Good Evening Fashion Friends!

Here’s a topic yet to be discovered on this blog, sweatpants. Fun fact, I’ve never purchased a pair. That’s how much I hate them.

I never wore sweat pants in high school, and I was always confused by the people that did because they’re a really stupid design. Actually, it’s lazy design. What douche was like, “Hmm here’s a good idea. Why don’t we put four pieces of this jersey material together and attach elastic at the ends. They will be really soft and loose and guys will like to wear them without underwear.” Yeah asshole, you made a lot of money but I can definitely see your junk in those.  And people who still wear the ones with the elastic on the bottoms… You should probably get off this planet. You make American’s look dumb by wearing that shit.

What really sucks about sweatpants is that they make people look like couch potatoes. I’m sure they are comfortable, but it’s almost as if you didn’t care to put yourself together in the morning, so you threw on a pair of sweatpants. And what makes this picture worse is that she clearly thought about this outfit. You PLANNED on matching this velour sweatshirt to its matching grape pants.Who does that?

Also, the fact that you zipped this, makes you look heavier than you are. It draws attention to the rolls that this sweatshirt has to hug. And the black shirt underneath really doesn’t help your case either.

Honestly, as far as I’m concerned sweatpants are for people who can’t find anything in their size or girls on their period.

Which means boys, next time you see a skinny girl in sweats, you know why you should stay away…

besides that she looks like a bum.

xoxo

Isla

Happy Monday Friends!

This is a super exciting post because it is the first of hopefully many pictures sent in by fans!! So exciting. Yet terrifying at the same time because I fear for the rest of the USA if this is what is out there. Here we have a woman over the age of 60 AT LEAST wearing a belly shirt. FAIL.

There are many girls in there 20s who can’t wear belly shirts, so why at 60+ is it OK for you to wear one? Because you’re dressed as a gypsy. It seems you may have made a terrible selection in costume choices. And I am definitely going to make fun of you for it… because unfortunately I don’t think this is a costume. This performer of sorts is wearing one of the most terrible gypsy looks I have ever seen. Long butterfly sheer sleeves, belly shirt with BRA ON TOP, (obvi, this lady needs more support than most women) and a tie at the waist which only accentuates your lack of curves. Don’t you know you should never try and belt things at your waist if you lack a waist? Huge rule here people! This is always unflattering because it shows off your lack of curves more that anything else can.

I think I have to point out that your hair needs to be brushed and styled in some manner besides the one that was cool back in the 70s.. when you were having your first child!

Here’s why I don’t think its a costume, because she seems to be doing the authentic dirty gypsy look.

Also lady, your colorful paillettes are making me nauseous.

xoxo

Isla

P.S. Send in more pics! I love seeing whats happening across America.

Hello Ladies and Gents,

Welcome to our most disgusting post yet. Here is what I call “Diaper Pants”, because anyone who wears these looks like they are wearing a saggy diaper full of poop. These pants are quite possibly the most unflattering pair of pants ever designed. And what’s worse, this woman bought them in the worst possible material they could have been made in… Jersey. Worst city, most unforgiving material.

Here’s the problem with jersey. It’s really nice when you first buy it, but after a wear or two it starts to pill and a has stretched out. The material is rarely quite as awesome once you’ve washed it, and if you don’t have the perfect body you can see all imperfections. This woman may have skinny legs, but these do nothing for her because her ass looks like a pancake. Not the yummy chocolate chip kind.

Ughhhhh, I can’t get over how disgusting these pants are! What made you think these look good? No guy is going to check out your ass in those babies. Actually, here is the definition of Man Repeller.

Also honey, you’re wearing black and blue. You look like a bruise.

With a long flat ass.

By the way, I basically told everyone around you I was taking this picture because you look like a moron.

Please buy actual pants. Or PROPER fitting shorts.

Suck it.

xox

Isla

Ok Folks,

I know I keep harping on this, but come on. There are just so many people that never will grasp the concept of Prom. Over the weekend I was fortunate enough to witness this disaster first hand. This group of high schoolers were headed for their big night out and one of their friends apparently missed the memo that tutus are for girls in ballet recitals. Actually, I don’t even think that ballerinas wear tutus that nasty. Beyond the fact that you are wearing a tutu, its multi colored! Come on. Are you seven? Get a fashion magazine or log onto the internet. I really have no clue who told you this was a good idea, but they should be shot.

Now for the real kicker, you put on a corset. Um HELLO! You can’t wear a corset unless you are going to tie it properly and buy one that fits you. Just because the sex shop on the street corner was sold out of your size, (you seem to wear the same size as most trannys in New York) doesn’t mean you buy a size smaller. No. Corsets have an incredible power, they can give ANYONE a waist. They flatter almost any figure if you’ve purchased a well made one in the correct size. Which is why most corsets are bought from places that have dressing rooms and sales associates that carry the knowledge to help you make a good purchase.

Now, that doesn’t mean everyone should wear them. I am in no way promoting corsets! I actually haven’t seen a proper corset done in a while. Girlfriend in the tutu clearly tried to squeeze herself into one that is too small so all her fat is overflowing from the top near her shoulder blades. Is there a word for that besides back fat? Because girl you’ve got a great deal of it and probably only checked out your ass as you passed the mirror. Bad choice. You look like a man.

I hope your friend is telling you that she’s embarressed to be seen with you in that get up.

I would.

xoxo

Isla

Hola My Fashion Forward Fans,

Hope you all have had a good weekend! I spent mine on the street following the crazies in New York and am happy to report I have some fun photos to share. Starting with a woman I am calling the Green Hornet. I saw this colorful character while picking up a bottle of water in what is called mist. But can be better described as piss in your face. It’s nasty, kind of like this woman’s outfit. First off, why would anyone dye their hair green? Seriously? That’s probably the last color that should be on your head. It reminds me of a joke my elementrey school gym teacher used to tell us. It went something like this:

A boy sees three girls in his class, one has blonde hair, one has brown hair and one has green hair. The boy goes up to the blond and says,”I like your hair, do you dye it?”

And she says, “No, it’s all natural!” As she pushes her hair off the left side of her face.

The boy turns to the brunette and says, “Your hair is nice too, is it yours?”

And she says, “Of course it’s mine.” As she pushes her hair off the right side of her face.

The boy walks over to he green haired girl and goes, “Well, your hair is interesting, you must dye it.”

To which the green haired girl responds, “No I don’t! It’s all natural.” As she pushes her hand up her nose and running it through her hair.

Honey, did you just get boogies in your hair like the girl from the joke? If this was by choice, please forward me your drug dealers name. I would like to take the crack you seem to be on. Also, when did it become OK for a 40 year old woman to have green hair, and wear all one color. Its wrong as someone below the age of 13, but it should just be illegal when you have to start wearing a bra. I wonder what her favorite color is?

This next lovely picture is brought to you by the BBQ party thing that was going on in Madison Square Park this afternoon. I chased this fascinating creature half a block to capture this for you my friends. Here we have a woman who’s hair is the color of lipstick and blood. It should not be used to dye your weave. Also, since you’ve attempted this ridiculous disaster, at least touch up your roots! Man, you look TERRIBLE! What confuses me even more though, is that before you left your apartment, you probably looked in the mirror and said something along the lines of, “damn I look good!” Why would you wear half a shirt out in public when you have fat rolls covering your back? Also, did you not read my memo on shorts? Yours do not cover enough, and should be considered underwear not pants. I hate you. Your flip flops are nasty.

Put these two together and we almost have an oopma loompa!

New Yorkers, please stop dressing like shit…

xoxo

Isla

Ready for the weekend my style conscious friends? I sure am. And with what’s shaping up to be a glorious two days, I bring you a new Prom disaster.

This Prom appears to have no dress code, or parents! Wherever these girls are, they have lost all mental competency. Sometimes I just don’t understand how kids are raised these days. I mean, I went with my friends to pick out dresses, but my mom definitely had final say… probably because she was paying for it.

Girlfriend in the light pink, I’m really not sure where your brain is at? Up your ass? I’m curious, at what point did someone tell you this was a good idea? Your dress has your boobs in seashells! I think only Triton would have let his daughter head to a big event dressed like that. And those cut outs!! Who purposely puts holes in their Prom dress? I can see parts of your belly that shouldn’t be seen for an event that in some ways is considered Black Tie.  Also, that color is also reserved for girls aged 1-10. Unless you’re a bridesmaid. And in that case, punch your friend in the face or purposely spill some red wine on that shit. That’s just rude.

Polka dots. I’m not even sure I have the energy to list all the things that are wrong here. But I’m pretty sure you’re not wearing a dress. I believe that’s called a bandeau top and a sarong. You dressed for a day at the beach, not Prom! My mother probably would have run me over with her car before letting me go out wearing that. Yeah whatever, you’re skinny. There are much classier, sexier ways of showing that off without ACTUALLY showing off the goods. Did your parents ever tell you, “You don’t buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” Because that is the only thing I can think of here. You look easy. Boys don’t marry easy girls. Let me rephrase, boys don’t marry easy girls for love. I so wish I could see what shoes you attempted to pair with this heinous disaster.

All I know is when I think back to my Prom, or when I show my children the photos, nobody will think I looked like a cheap hooker.

Maybe I should have reconsidered? It might be fun to wear polyester…

xox

Isla

Hello all you terrible dressers out there!

I thought I’d give you your first taste of catching people on the street lookingdumb. That’s right, you many be the next photo up here if you don’t start obeying fashion law and keep dressing like street walkers.

This post is dedicated to my awesome mother who chased after a girl on the street to get this picture. The woman who taught me a good chunk of my fashion knowledge, and stopped me from dressing like some of the ladies I see on the street. Now, this may not be the most interesting photo considering it was taken in the middle of the night, and its super dark, but I think it says a lot about how girls think they should be wearing when headed out on a Friday night.

My mother and I were just strolling along, eating our frozen yogurt when this girl storms by us with her friend. First of all, honey there is no need to run into people, its actually cool to be late. Second, WTF are you wearing? Did you hunt through your dog’s closet to find that shirt because its way too small for you. Your shirt is backless and your pants are too low, I can basically see your tush. Not cool.

Oh, and this girl could barely walk in her shoes. She looked like she might snap her ankle at any second. I just don’t get it, there are so many different designers and shoes available, why can’t you just buy some that fit? Who cares if they’re on sale, you look like you could tumble into an awesome New York pile of garbage at any minute. And then where would you be? Super late for whatever lame girls night dance party you were headed to.

Dear Blondie,

Please buy clothes that fit. Also, try and find somewhere that is a little bit harder to get into. That’s how you know you’re dressed right.

xoxo

Isla

Happy Monday Fashionistas!

I figured I’d cover a topic that might need to be explained again before we get into full blown summer clothing. This is why today our post is dedicated to shorts, or lack there of.

Shorts, where to begin? They’re a tricky article of clothing to wear, because of body type, length and I guess confidence? I’ve never quite liked shorts, mostly because I grew up in the 90′s wearing what I call “Mom Shorts”. Those are the ones that start above your belly button and take around 5 buttons to fasten, that’s how high the rise is. Oh, and they end mid thigh. Real flattering. Clearly the girls in the above photo didn’t have their parents dressing them as a pre-teen and are not currently paranoid about finding a nice pair of jorts. If you can even call them that. In some countries, I believe that amount of coverage is called underwear. I am a firm believer that shorts should NOT hug the thigh, it is never a good look even for the boniest girl you know.

Now beyond that these chickas are missing some pants, they proceed to wear fanny packs! People! Fanny packs are for overweight tourists visiting Disneyland, not twenty something year old girls! And belly shirts? I think those are for the super toned or the anorexic. And mesh, that was definitely left behind in the 90s club scene. I am so happy you are attempting to bring that back! That was a lie, this is a complete fail. Where was the mirror here? Or the concerned parent?

Someone please help these girls before they become those moms that think its OK to hang out with their children and wear their clothes while pushing 60. But I must say at least one nice thing before closing this post….

Um, your hair looks nice?

xoxo

Isla

WTF?

Hello Fellow Fashion Crime Stoppers,

Welcome to SheLookDumb! This blog was created to make sure that fashion law is obeyed. Although you may not have been caught, (or nobody was nice enough to tell you) we will find you and let you know why YouLookDumb.

We’re starting off our first post with an older photo from a Prom. The mother of all fashion disasters, the big kahuna of ugliness, the quintessential occasion where all my fashion nightmares become reality. Now when I think of Prom, I think of Cinderella-esque ball gowns built using mountains of tulle that can choke a donkey. There are usually so many sequins that you may confuse your date with RuPaul. (See UrbanDictionary.com RuPaul Drag Race, if you are unfamiliar.) But there is a spectrum. There is always a girl who finds the perfect slinky number, the girl who tries and fails, and the girl who JustLookDumb.

Now, see if you can guess which one is which in the picture above…. If you guessed the girl in the short gold dress is “The Good”, please feel free to get off my website! If you guessed the girl in the black one shoulder dress, then please continue on. You are correct! The girl in the black dress has it all figured out, the dress is simple yet elegant and flatters her figure, she has passed the Prom Dress Test with flying colors.

The girl in the floral dress, tried. Good effort. The dress unfortunately does not work with her body type, and the print is dated (I think my grandmother wore a similar print to HER Prom). And the gold trim down the front is just plain confusing.

And now for the offender of the evening, the girl in the gold dress. Ah, where to begin?

1. This dress does not, I repeat NOT fit her.

2. It’s short. Now I’m all for short dresses, but come on honey you’re going to Prom! This dress isn’t formal enough for the event you are attending. I’m surprised you didn’t throw on a tiara, the most beautiful hideous Prom accessory ever created.

3.What are your shoes? Come on, black suede with gold lace? AND they’re mary janes, are you high? This combo should not have been attempted in the middle of May… or ever.

4. You’re welcome for not posting the other pictures of your VPL (Visable Panty Line).

SheLookDumb.

Prom can be a magical night full of pictures, underage drinking and loss of virginity. Most importantly great dresses. But beware all you fashion offenders, I will find you, wear-ever you are, no matter what occasion.

XO

Isla FindYou