Ready for the weekend my style conscious friends? I sure am. And with what’s shaping up to be a glorious two days, I bring you a new Prom disaster.

This Prom appears to have no dress code, or parents! Wherever these girls are, they have lost all mental competency. Sometimes I just don’t understand how kids are raised these days. I mean, I went with my friends to pick out dresses, but my mom definitely had final say… probably because she was paying for it.

Girlfriend in the light pink, I’m really not sure where your brain is at? Up your ass? I’m curious, at what point did someone tell you this was a good idea? Your dress has your boobs in seashells! I think only Triton would have let his daughter head to a big event dressed like that. And those cut outs!! Who purposely puts holes in their Prom dress? I can see parts of your belly that shouldn’t be seen for an event that in some ways is considered Black Tie.  Also, that color is also reserved for girls aged 1-10. Unless you’re a bridesmaid. And in that case, punch your friend in the face or purposely spill some red wine on that shit. That’s just rude.

Polka dots. I’m not even sure I have the energy to list all the things that are wrong here. But I’m pretty sure you’re not wearing a dress. I believe that’s called a bandeau top and a sarong. You dressed for a day at the beach, not Prom! My mother probably would have run me over with her car before letting me go out wearing that. Yeah whatever, you’re skinny. There are much classier, sexier ways of showing that off without ACTUALLY showing off the goods. Did your parents ever tell you, “You don’t buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” Because that is the only thing I can think of here. You look easy. Boys don’t marry easy girls. Let me rephrase, boys don’t marry easy girls for love. I so wish I could see what shoes you attempted to pair with this heinous disaster.

All I know is when I think back to my Prom, or when I show my children the photos, nobody will think I looked like a cheap hooker.

Maybe I should have reconsidered? It might be fun to wear polyester…

xox

Isla