Good Evening Friends,

Welcome to this mess of a post!! Tonight we have a girl who clearly didn’t get the memo on corsets. Also, she decided to decorate hers with hello kitty faces and big nasty fake pearls. Very DIY. Congrats… things are supposed to look like you did it yourself.

Well girlfriend, where to begin?

Your nails… gross. I bet you paid a fortune to have those bad boys put on. You look like you could poke an eye out. And they are fucking square. DUH! At the point where your nail gets to be that long (or you’ve put on press ons like this girl) you cut them or you round them out. You accentuate the fake when you give your nail such a drastic shape.

I’ve already discussed corsets, but what the fuck did you put on yours? Isn’t hello kitty for seven year olds and asians who think they’re seven? Those pearl beads make me want to vomit. Good job ironing on those hearts and kitties though!

Your tattoos. Well, honestly I’m not a huge fan of big flashy tattoos. I’m always wayyy too curious about what happens when you’re old and wrinkly and you have tattoos covering big portions of your body. I think at that point you’ll regret it. But if you do it, at least do something  thoughtful or original. It looks like this lovely lady picked hers off the wall of art the shop knows they can do. How much did you pay for that? I hope not much.

Oh! Congratulations! Your lips are freaking enormous!

I’d also like to point out, she put the stars and hearts in the photo, not me.

I would have put frowning crying faces.

xoxo

Isla

Good Evening Fashion Friends!

Here’s a topic yet to be discovered on this blog, sweatpants. Fun fact, I’ve never purchased a pair. That’s how much I hate them.

I never wore sweat pants in high school, and I was always confused by the people that did because they’re a really stupid design. Actually, it’s lazy design. What douche was like, “Hmm here’s a good idea. Why don’t we put four pieces of this jersey material together and attach elastic at the ends. They will be really soft and loose and guys will like to wear them without underwear.” Yeah asshole, you made a lot of money but I can definitely see your junk in those.  And people who still wear the ones with the elastic on the bottoms… You should probably get off this planet. You make American’s look dumb by wearing that shit.

What really sucks about sweatpants is that they make people look like couch potatoes. I’m sure they are comfortable, but it’s almost as if you didn’t care to put yourself together in the morning, so you threw on a pair of sweatpants. And what makes this picture worse is that she clearly thought about this outfit. You PLANNED on matching this velour sweatshirt to its matching grape pants.Who does that?

Also, the fact that you zipped this, makes you look heavier than you are. It draws attention to the rolls that this sweatshirt has to hug. And the black shirt underneath really doesn’t help your case either.

Honestly, as far as I’m concerned sweatpants are for people who can’t find anything in their size or girls on their period.

Which means boys, next time you see a skinny girl in sweats, you know why you should stay away…

besides that she looks like a bum.

xoxo

Isla

Happy Monday Friends!

This is a super exciting post because it is the first of hopefully many pictures sent in by fans!! So exciting. Yet terrifying at the same time because I fear for the rest of the USA if this is what is out there. Here we have a woman over the age of 60 AT LEAST wearing a belly shirt. FAIL.

There are many girls in there 20s who can’t wear belly shirts, so why at 60+ is it OK for you to wear one? Because you’re dressed as a gypsy. It seems you may have made a terrible selection in costume choices. And I am definitely going to make fun of you for it… because unfortunately I don’t think this is a costume. This performer of sorts is wearing one of the most terrible gypsy looks I have ever seen. Long butterfly sheer sleeves, belly shirt with BRA ON TOP, (obvi, this lady needs more support than most women) and a tie at the waist which only accentuates your lack of curves. Don’t you know you should never try and belt things at your waist if you lack a waist? Huge rule here people! This is always unflattering because it shows off your lack of curves more that anything else can.

I think I have to point out that your hair needs to be brushed and styled in some manner besides the one that was cool back in the 70s.. when you were having your first child!

Here’s why I don’t think its a costume, because she seems to be doing the authentic dirty gypsy look.

Also lady, your colorful paillettes are making me nauseous.

xoxo

Isla

P.S. Send in more pics! I love seeing whats happening across America.